Lately I've been struggling to 'put pen to paper' and actually write something on this miniature platform that I have created here. It's a bit tedious to try and follow my train of thought to see where it will lead me this time. It's not like I have particular issues putting my thoughts into words but it just seems like when I actually do start typing the sentences just go nowhere in particular. It's been this way for as long as I can remember so I suppose it's now an integral part of my personality.
When I was a little bit younger I tried my hand at writing little stories about series or video games that I liked at the time. The internet was a new big unexplored world and I didn't have anybody to talk to at the time so I kind of lost myself in reading story upon story that forayed into subjects that the original material didn't even think about touching upon (Likely for many good reasons). Looking back at that, I wish I could read like I did back then.
In any case, I wanted to join their circles and also write my own stories. But I just couldn't get on the right track to do so. I'd think of an engaging title and wrote away at one or two chapters with extreme enthusiasm. It never went beyond that though as I quickly realized that I had no plot to speak of whatsoever. Lining out plot guidelines and seeing where the story would actually go wasn't my forte apparently but it would actually be considered something unavoidable. I'm still unable to do so though.
So I just abandoned that part of my life and didn't look back. At some later point I'd thought a blog might be more my style but I always deleted all my entries after some time. I became embarrassed of who I was at that point in time and the thought of people viewing it was absolutely horrid. At this point in my life I'd like to think I am approximately the person I will be for the rest of my life so I would like to try again.
Personally I think a blog would suit me the best since it's small stories or anecdotes contained in one singular post. Of-course I could write short stories but that would still involve some type of literary planning on my side which is as mentioned earlier, simply not one of my strengths. Usually I would tell myself I'm not intelligent enough to fabricate something fantastical that people want to read. That is however very rude of myself. I'm certainly not as clever as other people I know but I am also not the emptiest person.
It would basically be the best to find the platform that is suited to yourself the most. At some point in time I also attempted to use Twitter to make sure my thoughts could go somewhere but that wasn't a grand success either. The amount of characters are too low to properly express yourself and I found it difficult to decide how to divide up a narrative to fit these separated spaces. At some point the thread became very long and just excessively convoluted.
There have been people who said that part of my charm is the fact that my brain seems to be a complete and utter mess. Skipping from one subject straight to the other without any obvious connection until I explain to them why I thought of it. In the past I've also been chided for it. People tell me 'Why are you always changing the subject?' but I just find it difficult to stick to one topic. It's not like I am doing it on purpose either so I become a bit dejected when people go on and on about it. I can understand it as well though.
For example, I know another person who always turns a subject into something negative which can be a bit disheartening. If I would ask them if they want to travel to Cambodia they would advise against air travel since it has negative effects for the environment. If I tell them I'd love to go to Venice they would speak about the fact that I would have to do so soon since it will be the new Atlantis in the future! Lost civilizations are a great passion of mine by the way but I'll try to keep that as a subject for a future entry because I don't want to stray into another subject. I told you it wouldn't be easy for me to keep my thoughts in one spot right?
Essentially it appears that making entries here suits my style the most. Even if nobody reads it, it is not what matters to me. It is useful to have a space to store your thoughts. I'll make an exceptional effort to try and keep it up.
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